The Weight of The World On My Body

Social media has got women of our time and age underappreciating themselves and their bodies. A standard has been created in the sense that the average woman feels their body is not enough anymore and that more has to be done to it to fit our current societal dispensation. It saddens my heart to see the younger generation save in piggy banks for medical procedures set to “correct” their bodies and I am tempted to ask, when did God become a bad sculpture?

The Beginning Of It All

Growing up, I remember seeing a world of proud women and a society in which any kind of body was perfectly acceptable. Women who had all kinds of body structures could wear anything and still feel good about themselves. In our part of the world, it all began when westernization and social media happened to us. Women with what we call the “perfect body” were seen on camera and we craved their look. In those moments, our perceptions changed and all we wanted was to have perfect bodies too. I mean, most women wanted to look like the “Kardashians”.

The Average Female Body

Here in Africa, women are fortunate to be endowed. In days past, African women were tagged as women with the “coca cola” look. This means, the average African woman had a more curvy but natural body type even when they were slim and at the time it meant something. African women begun feeling uncomfortable about their round bellies, back folds, flappy arms, clamping tights and others because of the perfect body perception. The truth is, the body of an African women will always be perfection!

Your Confidence Matters

As we shed light on this topic, I believe I owe you all amazing women out there the responsibility of showing you that it is okay if you need to have to do extra bodywork to make you achieve the kind of confidence you need. I have seen women who have a couple of children and their bodies never recovered. Some fall into depression and others lose their confidence entirely. Getting your body together in a way that will make you as confident and sexy as hell is never the wrong thing to do and I would say that all that matters is that you make sure whatever you do is safe and healthy for your body.

Erasing The Male Influence

Before you seek a perfect body, you should ask yourself many questions with the first one being, why am I looking for this kind of body? Well, if you are doing it because of the male influence then, I can confidently say that you are doing it for the very wrong reasons. If I am right, men naturally buy what you sell, your job as a woman is to work on the packaging and delivery. Changing your body not for self-confidence but the male gaze or attention brings an even bigger problem of low self-confidence and many women who did not know better are dealing with the pain.

Achieving The Perfect Look

  • Exercise
  • Dieting
  • Body supplement
  • Body therapies
  • Body contouring
  • Cosmetic procedures
  • Body shapers

Appreciating Your Body

The first step you can take in appreciating your body is validating yourself in your mind that your body is perfect. Wake up every day and accept the fact that this is how God has made you and you are unique and important. Doing this alone brings so much positivity and confidence to you and it is in this kind of positivity that you can thrive! Make up your mind that your body is essentially your pride and allow that pride to lead you to feel good about yourself each day.

Shame To The Body “Shamers”

Body shaming is just like any kind of abuse. Making a person feel like they are unacceptable kills the soul that lives within them. According to study, many women have committed suicide and attempted diverse physical neglect due to the influence of body shaming. People have to put a hard stop to body shaming others. I mean, if you do not like how someone looks, keep it to yourself! Making the person feel even worse than they already feel about themselves does not change anything.

Lifting The Weight

The weight of the world on the shoulders of women who are termed not to have the perfect body is heavy. Now, we are letting that weight down gently and never picking it up again. While you go shopping for new clothes you might want to add a couple of bikinis, some sleeveless tops, some tights, and a couple of body con-dresses because you love, you’re are going to flaunt everything you have and be yourself. As I part ways, I announce to you with great passion that you have the perfect body until you decide you do not!

Alive On Purpose – Suicide Awareness

Suicide is never a cry for attention, instead, it is a cry for help. That sounds weird, I know but if there is anything I have learned in life, it is that you will always have a choice. There are instances when you cannot find the courage to choose from the lot but the truth is, life will always present you with a choice. The responsibility you would have as a fellow is to make choices that will be beneficial to your existence.

The darkest place a person can find themself is in the moment when they have to choose between life and death. At that moment, you contemplate on so many things but the power of emptiness and hopelessness feels so grounded in your thoughts that if you do not find anything, just one thing to hold onto. You might slip away in despair.

Suicidal Thoughts

Thinking of suicide gives people the impression that they are taking control over the things that they cannot live with anymore which is indeed a myth. Many of us have had our shares of suicidal thoughts and I must say, it is not the prettiest days anyone can have. When you have those thoughts it is almost like your mind becomes clouded with darkness and the only thing you can reminisce on is all the painful stuff you have been through. When you get these thoughts, you are almost convinced that the world will be a better place without you and many other people feel this way consistently.

I can assure you that while contemplating taking away a life that you didn’t bestow unto yourself and living it, there are always flashes of the good life you could live if you could hold on for just a bit longer. Breaking free from the grips of pain that takes you so far as to consider death is not a joke. However, taking one step back allows you to be extremely sure of yourself before acting.

Why Do People Have Suicidal Thoughts?

  • Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
  • Social Isolation
  • Bipolar Disorder
  • Border Personality Disorder
  • Substance Use and Impulsivity
  • Loss
  • Fear
  • Chronic Illnesses
  • Feeling like a burden
  • Guilt

Real Life Situation

Interesting you in a real-life situation will help you understand the depth of this discussion. Before we do that think of a time where you just couldn’t go on with your life and wanted out. Yea, think of that moment. The reality is that there is always some sort of trigger that sets you into that kind of mood and “Chale”, you need to shut those triggers out. Moving forward, you might want to pour yourself a drink as things are about to get pretty intense.

While I have tonnes of compelling suicide stories to tell I would rather not bore you with any. Take a pause, sip more on that drink you poured earlier and recollect the current stories you have heard about people taking their own lives. I mean, these are real people who have died just like that because they were not okay with how their lives were unraveling. Think again of the moments in your own life when you felt that way. It is important to go back to those thoughts if you truly wish to eliminate them permanently.

Normalizing the Conversation

Just like any other conversation, I think there should be bold reminders everywhere to create awareness of suicide and suicidal thoughts. Before a person takes their own life they think and think again about what they are yet to do. Imagine they find themselves in supportive conversations about suicide while they are still planning their death. Wouldn’t they move on from those plans because they have reason to stay alive?

It is unfortunate that in our part of the world, these things are seldom discussed. Parents never talk about suicidal situations with their children just like they avoid having sexual conversations with them. Including suicide awareness creation to our generation’s agenda will be one of the best interventions we have ever had. While I have never lost any friend to suicide, I have heard a few people utter words like “I will kill myself” due to pressures of life and frustrations from parents especially. On that note, African parents must really pay attention to affording their children the peace they need to survive this already painful life.

Reaching Out

If you are in a situation where helplessness embraces you, I would like you to know that there is plenty of hope around you. You just need to find it. Before I say anything else, I would like you to know that YOU ARE LOVED! Tell yourself that every morning and before you go to bed. Your redemption from suicide really begins when you start talking to someone. I mean talk to anyone. Hell, you could even talk to dear SIRI on your phone just please talk to someone. Remaining in your thoughts will only get you to the exact place you would rather not be and while you share your suicidal thoughts, do it proudly because it takes only brave people to share that kind of information.

Wanting Out?

Have you ever caught a glimpse of the sunrise? Is it not utterly beautiful? Well, dear, you are like that beautiful sunrise. Waking up every day means so much to so many people even though you might not realize it. Even though recovery does not happen in a day it is important that while you recover from suicidal thoughts, you open up to socialize more. Bury yourself in a sporting activity, join a book club, start a swimming class or simply start a blog like me and share every single experience you have had in your life just to make the world a better place for another person. While you recover, I would need you to do everything you have ever wanted to do in life except, do not die because you, my dear are a SURVIVOR. Stay alive on purpose!

My identity

Believer's Testimony

Dear God,

Who am I?

I get so confused when anyone says “Tell me more about yourself ”.

You’d be too if You were in my shoes right?

Usually I’m not sure how to answer the question.

But tell me, do I answer this question based on who I am in You or how the world sees me?

For starters, I’d say I’m a tall dark girl with unprocessed natural hair.

Forget what I said about being tall, make that medium height.

I am still a student waiting to graduate.

I love dancing!

But sometimes I like to sing more than I dance.

And other times I like to write more than I read.

I’m very inquisitive and if I had my way I’d know everything that goes on around me.

Wait!

I think I got the answer,

Just let me know if I’m right or wrong.

I am the…

View original post 444 more words

MISTAKES!

You sheepishly getting involved with some random dude and ending up pregnant accidentally doesn’t make it the end of the world. Or you slipping off into your bad addictions like alcoholism doesn’t make you a failure. The most important thing is picking yourself up after making a mistake and purposing to do the right thing. Everybody makes mistakes! Everyone surrounding you including the people who judge you make mistakes. Your mentor makes mistakes, same as your Pastor. The beauty of it all is that they redeem themselves after those mistakes made so that they are able to get back on track in time.

Unfortunately, some mistakes are accompanied by heavy prices to pay and sometimes this becomes a hard blow to dodge, however, this is where you get to learn from those mistakes. Frank got his driver’s licence for the first time and his mom warned him never to drink and drive or over speed. In a quest to please his girlfriend he offered her a ride home after a party and as part of a show-off, he over sped on the road. A truck from nowhere crashed into the car and the girl lost her legs after the accident. Frank had to live with the guilt of being responsible for the girl’s disability forever.

On the bright side, he had learnt the hard way to desist from over speeding. People, the point is you don’t have to stay at that low point in your life forever! Getting out of your depression after making a mistake is the first step to redemption so make a decision today because the decisions you fail to make are eventually made for you! And sometimes the “made for you” decision may inconvenience you for the rest of your lives. Remember to avoid mistakes, however, if you make them, know that everyone makes mistakes!

IT’S ABOUT TIME!

You think of that situation where you have a pimple on your face and it swells and throbs so painful that you think it is going to explode? That’s you right there. Bottling up emotions, confusions, frustrations and pain results in a darker form of anxiety you might never escape from that is why it is important to tell your story.
What is your story? Whatever it may be you should tell it, as it is. It might interest you to know that somebody wants to hear it and they are ready to be everything you want them to be for you. You might have your reasons for being discrete about your struggles because of past experiences of betrayal, mistrust and negation but there are billions of people and resources around besides the people who forsook you.
A 13 years old girl was raped, which resulted in a delicate reproductive issue. She never had the courage to speak up and because she had neglected parents and the prey she fell victim to was family so she felt the worst kind of betrayal. She unconsciously assumed a gloomy and caged life and she eventually died one day throwing herself over a bridge. An autopsy report showed that she had been through traumatizing experiences like rape and she had died with a delicate reproductive issue.
In our part of the world where parents are not friends and friendships have resorted to a competition, finding your safe space and a confidant whoever or whatever they may be would be a smart move.
Tell us your story by sending it to the provided contact and join a society that wants to hear your story and be there for you!

Get a hang of it!

People think of life in different ways. Some say its a race, others see it as a game. In some weird scenarios, people mistake life for a competition. The question here is “What do you think of life?” yes you! 

Well, if you ask, I would say life is an adventure! I know you are well aware of what an adventure is but just so we are clear, an adventure is a happening involving lots of dangers and risks. That’s what my Merriam Webster dictionary tells me, you could check yours for a better understanding, either way, the point is, Life is an Adventure!

This project is inspired by my twenty-three years of life experiences and I’m positive you are guessing what I might have learned within just twenty-three years of life that is worth sharing. This is where I inform you that I’m not here to be an expert but I’m here to share common experiences we have and to encourage you so that we can all get through the shady adventures of life!

Missing even a post would be very unlucky so I really hope you stay tuned, comment and share such posts as we unravel the mysterious adventures of LIFE!